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Back a step
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Back a step
| _Lucifer_
Posts: 2,741 Status: Lord Karma: +330 [+1] [-1]   |
Subject: Second one | |||||
| “I shot a moose once. I was hunting in upstate New York and I shot a moose. And I strap him onto the fender of my car, and I’m driving home along the West Side Highway, but what I didn’t realise was that the bullet did not penetrate the moose. It just creased the scalp, knocking him unconscious. And I’m driving through the Holland Tunnel – the moose woke up. So I’m driving with a live moose on my fender. The moose is signalling for a turn, y’know? There’s a law in New York state against driving with a conscious moose on your fender, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. And I’m very panicky, and then it hits me: some friends of mine are having a costume party. I’ll go, I’ll take the moose, I’ll ditch him at the party. It wouldn’t be my responsibility. So I drive up to the party and I knock on the door. The moose is next to me. My host comes to the door. I say, ‘Hello. You know the Solomons?’ We enter. The moose mingles. Did very well. Scored. Two guys were trying to sell him insurance for an hour and a half. Twelve o’clock comes – they give out prizes for the best costume of the night. First prize goes to the Burkowitzes, a married couple dressed as a moose. The moose comes in second. The moose is furious. He and the Burkowitzes lock antlers in the living room. They knock each other unconscious. Now, I figured, is my chance. I grab the moose, strap him onto my fender and shoot back to the road. But I got the Burkowitzes. So I’m driving along with two Jewish people on my fender, and there’s a law in New York State... Tuesdays, Thursdays and especially Saturday. The following morning the Burkowitzes wake up in the woods in a moose suit. Mr Burkowitz is shot, stuffed and mounted at the New York Athletic Club. And the joke is on them, because it’s restricted.” |
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