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| King_Of_Hearts
Posts: 1,124 Status: Duke Karma: +152 [+1] [-1]   |
Subject: Simple things NOT to do at a Festival. | |||||
| Since we all love to "let off steam" here, I figured I'd join in all the fun. I had the pleasure of getting to visit the Moombah festival in the City today with my siblings. This festival is held yearly, and incredibly popular, attracting people of all race and creed. This year they boasted of their largest crowd yet. I know that yesterday, they attracted 400,000 people, so it's not unfair to assume they reached half a million today. My to-do list was but a humble one. Perfectly acceptable in normal circumstances. 1. Find a toilet for some personal time. 2. Buy some hot chips to enjoy the festival with. 3, if you're feeling risky. Grab a cold drink to solve the problem of a moderately hot day. This list has, since then, been hellbent on making my day a misery. I forward onto you this warning, so you may avoid such unpleasant occurrences, and help yourselves and others have a happy day come festival time, rather than resort to pounding yourself against a brick wall. Let us start with item number 1. As mentioned above, this festival is home to a gargantuan throng of locals and tourists come to enjoy their day. With drink stands available all round, and some no doubt bringing their own refreshments, there shall no doubt be full bladders all round. One would wonder, then, on the wisdom of bringing only less than a dozen of those dreaded port-a-loos. Aside from the fairly obvious problem of queuing, another presents itself before us. Those whose half a brain they have left, forgets to tell them to lock the door behind them. As such, half the port-a-loos appeared vacant to the innocent bystander. Those with full bladders unfortunate enough to try some of these doors, were met with friendly calls of "SHUT THE ****ING DOOR" or "PEVERT!!!11!!1!" (Though I shall admit, this was fun to watch.  )And of course, my personal favourite. The first time one actually did become available, I lunged at the chance and went for it. The man exiting it stopped me just in time. "Oh, I'm sorry, mister. I believe I've blocked it up." My tip to all. Lock your doors when you do your business. You're doing a service to yourself, and those around you! It doesn't take much! Moving on to number 2. Hot chips.  That most naughty and delicious of life's joys.You would think buying some to enjoy with the festival seems a simple enough task. Pick a stall, buy them at an insanely high price ($7.50, I think it worked out, for a puny amount) and be on your way. But oh no. We've forgotten that this festival has been blessed with the presence of half a million full-bladdered people, who also happen to be ravenously hungry. It shows. I was stuck in that queue for well over 40 minutes, that I kept track of. I picked it because it was the shortest queue. There were dozens of food stalls around this festival. ALL with an insanely long queue of aforementioned hungry people. I cannot understate how much you should NOT risk the purchasing of food when faced with situations such as this. Your grandchildren will die of old age by the time you reach the counter. The only alternative was the stall right next to the one I visited, selling candy pieces, licorice and chocolate to little children. Probably why we enjoyed festivals so much when we were younger. So if you're older than the age of 8, consider yourself screwed. My next piece of advice for you. Bring a packed lunch. It can do you wonders, and doesn't cost you your life savings. Lastly, lucky number 3, though this could be considered a continuation of 2. Yes, they are generous with their distribution of drinks stands - wherever you may be, there is usually one within eyesight. But with the prices they charge for such small portions, you'd be better off dipping your head in the nearest water feature and drinking from that. (Hell, you may find the odd coin or two people have "dropped" in there. We did.) If you do bring a packed lunch, bring cheap refreshments. In fact, the most enjoyable part of our day was when we visited the Shrine of Remembrance up the road and paid our respects. Which had nothing to do with the festival. If you can still find it within yourself to visit the festival, approach it well prepared. If you can do so well enough it can be a thoroughly enjoyable time, if you can drown out the cacophony of screaming children and carnies. If you haven't, bring some suicide pills, or a shotgun.  ^ Shrine of Remembrance, as mentioned above |
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